The Bleeding Soul !!!

It is better not to unleash the demons within, for it's usually much more ugly than your imagination..

Leaves you with nothing more than guilt.. A sin once done, is done; which is carved on the soul leaving it to bleed until it becomes weaker..

The wounds are right there, wide open causing sheer unbearable pain to the soul..   The ugly thing within you, tries hard to be hidden and suceeds for a while.

You never know it keeps peeping through the wounds and someday, takes control over of your mind and soul again when it finds you frail..

You find yourself standing helpless with the bleeding wounds while those demons try hard to come out of the crevice.

You scream, you cry and try to stitch the wounds pushing them inside..  Little do you know, it's your weak moment and mighty they are..

It rips your bleeding soul apart in that one weak moment and you lie there.. still.. motionless.. emotion less.  

Every torn bit of your bleeding bare soul stares at the demons while they stand tall before you with a venomous smile on their victory......

The Grey Night !!

Where do you think you are going leaving me on roads at midnight? I screamed again repeating my question, dad.. Where do you think you people are going leaving me on the roads? Who is this child and what is he doing in my hands?

Mom replied in a very relaxed manner, we’re just going to the market dear and shall be back in a while and what’s wrong with you? That child is your nephew, can’t you see?
Adam?? Is that him, I asked utterly baffled? But how did he get so small; how can you guys go to the market at 2 in the night and why am I on the road? There are dirty ugly swines around, they are going to kill me and Adam mom.

They didn’t pay a heed to my words and just drove off. "You have gone crazy girl" were the last words I heard from mom, that were struggling to reach my ears since they had almost reached the end of the lane and the winds were in absolute mood to crack everything that came its way..
2 am, an ugly.. Gray night and I was standing on the road with Adam sleeping in my arms. I just looked at him again. I mumbled to myself; this can't be Adam, he's too small to be addressed as a '2 year' old. And I can certainly distinguish him! The most beautiful child I had ever seen, his lovely watery brown eyes.. Color, just like a tempting milky white chocolate. Lips softer than the rose petals and perfectly in shape as if God had won some bonus hours to carve them. Tiny yet a sharp nose flawlessly placed between those pulpy pink cheeks. In simple words, beauty and innocence one can die for.

This isn’t Adam, I repeated just getting out my thoughtful moment and looked around. There was nothing, except for that light pole at the end of that lane with a barely visible light due to a piece of cloth stuck into its broken glass cover. Storm was at its peak, sweeping the dust from one end to another. I just sat there, almost shattered.. The wind probably thought of having a little mercy on me and mellowed down in a while.

Where is my house, what is this place and what the hell am I doing here with this child whom I don’t even know? Calm down, calm down I repeated to myself when I realized; I was actually shouting questions I had no answers for, precisely no one else at that moment was around to answer any of my questions except for that child in my arms who was indeed too small to even speak..

I was almost in tears, my eyes gazing restlessly towards the corner of the lane in a hope to see mom and dad driving back, but they didn’t. Couldn’t hold on any more and the tears rolled down my cheeks making my vision hazy and everything around me spinning with a speed that could possibly stir your intestines in less than a minute and bring them out of your nose.
In that stormy wind I broke into sweat, as if I was sitting dehydrated in a pool of water and just then, I felt a strong pat on my shoulder with mom’s voice at the exact timing as if it was an audio visual clip. But I was still not able to see anything, until mom just splashed cold water on my face asking… Its 9 am.. Don’t you think you should get out of your bed??

~ Zainab Sayyed

India, In Quest of Independence yet again..

It’s the Independence Day Today... But is our Country really Independent?

It’s a big long note, but I believe we all can spare around 15 minutes to read through it
on this remarkable day of Indian History and take a peep into the few dark alleys, that

we're very much aware of.. Yet, choose to ignore and not walk down these lanes for varied reasons. It’s high time and we all should now interrogate ourselves and figure out whether we're actually Independent in true sense, or merely for namesake.

After 65 years of Independence and 25 years of my entire life, I today find a striking
need to ask myself..

IS MY COUNTRY REALLY INDEPENDENT?
My rightful answer to this, as a citizen of this Country is 'NO'.

We think we are the democracy.. We think we have swaraj and our Indian constitutions laid down for us.. We think we have our jurisdiction to rely on.. we have security that keeps us protected.. We think we have a Government... Do we really have the correct Governance?

We certainly have drived out the rulers and sought our freedom yet, we are living under absolute slavery for decades..

We're slaves... Slaves of hypocrisy.. slaves of corruption and poverty.. slaves of communism and inhumanity.. Slaves of Criminals who run this Country only for their own benefit.. We're slaves of the fear that we live with due to the soaring crime rate of our country.. And slaves have no rights..

The women of any age, be it an infant or a lady as old as 80 years of this Independent India is still not safe.. The flesh trade and human trafficking here is as common of a business as multi cuisine restaurants on streets..
We are assured a secure living here.. Is it really possible for alien powers to intrude inside the Country without the help of our so called security? What is the reason for putting innocent lives on stake and creating communal violence? A violence which comes out with such an ugly face that makes us think whether we're humans, or demons. Reason? The law and so called law makers of our Country are more sensitive towards the law violators than the victims..

We, the Indians pay crores of Rupees of our hard earned money to the Government as tax only to travel on roads full of pot holes.. To witness the dismaying poor infrastructure.. To see the construction of a fly-over happening for as long as 5 years.. For spending years and years in a hope to see technology of a level where we could actually believe, we are a developed Country.. Rather to see Ajmal Qasab living a lavish life by the grace of our efficient and potent Government..

Our national wealth is over the edge, yet majority of this land is below the degree of poverty for the taps of this National wealth leak into the sinkhole that we all are aware of.. The medication and severe ailment treatment is something that is still out of reach of a common man.. We either pay an excessively high amount to treat our people and bury ourselves in the graves of loans, or we bury the bodies of our people.. Either ways, the price is exorbitant..

There are zillion education centers built, yet there is illiteracy around.. Why can't we have more and more Government education canters providing affordable and quality education for the betterment of the country itself? Every noble profession today is turned into a cut throat competitive business.. The business takes your money and provides management lessons... Basic Values and Humanity is not a part of syllabus anymore..

We have learnt to take it light and move on ignoring all the issues around for they have now become perpetual.. We have accepted we CANNOT make a difference..
No matter how much ever pain a common man goes through or how much ever struggle Shree Anna Hazare puts up to set this Country free once again.. We seldom would succeed, for the germicides of corruption, crime and Inhumanity have penetrated so profound into the veins of this Country that we would now need the biggest revolution or a miracle to aid India..

Miracles do not happen in today's world.. So the only option we're left with is revolution and the only way to make this possible is by taking a UNITED step...

India is the only land where we find people of different Cast, Religion and Race... A place where we find bonds and relations that one can die for irrespective of their Casts and Religion. This is something that should be our weapon.. Something we should be proud of.. but alas! We have fist full of pests around us who leave no stone unturned to sow the seeds of hatred in our hearts..

What could be more worse when a person runs for his life merely because of his religion.. The entire race or community is put under scrutiny and suffer for deeds of some.. what could be more worse when your own land.. your own house denies refuge to you..

A person born on this Land is by default a child of this land and no law, no leader, no
Politician or no religion can abandon him from this country..

It’s time to understand the realities.. Open our eyes and take a step.. A beginning is very important and a pathway will automatically build itself beneath our feet.. The only thing that will bring revolution is UNITY.. Lets realize our strengths and do our bit.. No matter how small or naive our actions might be, just take a step.. Make a move..

Breakthrough the barriers of division and discrimination and make this Nation a United Nation once again.
Usually the fever of patriotism creeps into our nerves only twice a year.. The Republic Day and the Independence Day.. We wish each other, update our Facebook and Twitter statuses, extend our already extended breaks chatting over national issues and get away thinking.. "I have done my bit".. Honestly, I admit at least I have been doing this..

So today, I rather choose not to wish someone 'A Happy Independence Day' but instead take a step towards the salvation of my Country.. A salvation from slavery, so that someday I can proudly say, I have done my bit and today I am a proud and Independent Indian..

By writing my heart out, I believe I have taken a step... You too have taken one by taking time to read this... Now simply, keep walking...

JAI HIND..
Zainab Sayyed. ..